“What'll it be? A c***-job?”
“... Or a pounding!”
“How about both at the same time?”
―Cutman, Gutsman and Megaman, Megaman Ruins Gutsman and Cutman's Date[src]
And before we get into this, dear reader, let me give you a piece of advice. An answer to a question I'm sure you've got on your mind. No, you can't fuck the Widow King. Don't even dream of it. Sure, he's got those sultry, painted eyes, but below that sexy gaze is only evil. As you may already know, black widow spiders have the natural tendency to chow down on their partners post-sex. While you might not end up as a tasty dinner fit for a king, you sure as shit aren't walking out of that door alive after this torrid affair. Heed this warning, lest you wake up the morning after at the rusty gates of Hell.
Well, what else could Nan's mind do when he was whisked away by a handsome stranger who started whispering death and destruction in his young, impressionable ear? He was still just a boy, after all, and his only real exposition to the inevitable end of all mortal life was... Well, the death of Eid, his father's lover, was natural! It was supposed to happen, and it happened right on time. Eid's time had come, he was a frail, old little man. No crime against nature had taken place. But because it had caused so much misery in his dear father, Nan took a bit of convincing.
And no, not even The Master II could not fully convince him that it really was best in the end to quicken the life cycle, so to speak, and bring all of humanity to a premature end. However, the softer whispers in the back of his mind experienced much more success.
These softer whispers were that of The Widow King, who had just begun to form in the child's mind - and don't be mistaken, The Widow King's birth was a coping device in every sense of the word. It's hard to say for sure if The Widow King is 100% fetter, or if he is partially a symptom of dissociative identity disorder, all things considered. For the sake of coherency, let's say for now that he is both.
The Widow King was a kind, patient guardian to Nan as a child, but not necessarily in a sense that Nan needed... Instead of being firm and turning him away from The Master II's toxic influence, he offered a number of coping devices and justifications to make Nan a better pawn for the aforementioned fascist Time Lord. To open Nan's mind to mass murder - even murder on the individual level - The Widow King argued that death was intimate. It was a way to get closer to The Master II, who the child undoubtedly loved, it was a way for Nan to prove himself as a serious believer in The Master II's cause, and it was a way to get to know the bodies of other people.
At first, Nan was horrified with all these insinuations. It went against everything he was taught! Life was precious! Life was the masterpiece of the gods and ending life prematurely without a good reason was a crime against nature! But... Then again, was his own father a good person? Did his own father practice what he preached, with the way he smote mildly disrespectful humans who entered his tower, left and right? Was his own father truly someone he should listen to... Over The Master II, whose ideology stood tall without such glaring contradictions? I mean... There had to be a reason The Master II was so sure of himself and his convictions. Maybe humans were better off dead. Maybe the Earth was meant for immortals who would respect its resources instead of indulging in such... Savagery against their planet. Savagery against each other. Humans were picking each other off to begin with. Humans despised each other more than anything else in the world. So who would it really hurt if they were put out of their misery?
That's the conclusion Nan came to, anyway, and that was all because of the combined efforts of The Widow King and The Master II. One would think those two were fairly close to work in tandem like that, but in reality, The Widow King would sooner stab The Master II in the back than shake his hand. The Widow King was raised from circumstance, every bit as much as Nan was. The Widow King did not ask to be born. He did not ask for the situation he was thrust into. He certainly did not ask to have to spin such ridiculous lies to keep his vessel safe - and he knew for a fact that turning away from The Master II would result in a life of misery and pain for Nan. He knew The Master II would not forget the face that would betray him. The Widow King did what he had to do. He took the safest path. The immoral path. The cowardly path. He knows. He KNOWS, damn you. He'd like to see what you would do if you were him, you bastards.
The Widow King is certainly a charmer. He is a light in the dark for lonely, cold adventurers stumbling upon his tower in search of shelter and food - and he is absolutely impossible to read. Those who meet him hardly even get the feeling that there's something to read in him at all. His warmth, his hospitality and his humor are all so overwhelmingly genuine that not a single visitor to his chambers has made it back out alive.
Indeed, the mask he shows to the world is warm, friendly, generous, and above all unassuming. But the truth beneath it is far stranger than the fiction he provides.
森The Luxuriant Timberland森 is [WIP]
Snowy... Dear, sweet, Snowy. He doesn't like being called that, but whatever. Snowy's got such a ridiculously large stick up his ass, someone's gotta help him loosen up a little. The Widow King hasn't the faintest notion of the kinds of stories Snowy has got in his head about his darker-haired, younger counterpart - but he isn't sure he wants to know. These kinds of misunderstandings can be such messes to clean up, after all... [WIP]
Vannas and The Widow King are wonderful friends! The Widow King is always happy to cover Vannas' back and be there for him. Truth be told, Vannas reminds The Widow King of his own self. Young. Precocious. Impulsive. Pleasure-seeking. Damaged. Broken. Hurt. So, so very hurt. But there's undoubtedly an odd distance between them. Who could say if that distance is the simple lack of intimacy between the two or the product of something darker?
Ayame is such a pretty girl, The Widow King finds he has a hard time keeping his eyes off her. After all, for the first REAL human he's laid eyes on? Not a bad first human to see. [WIP]
What a charming, endearing little man. He really does try, doesn't he? In that way, Rowan is just The Widow King's type... Or something like that, maybe. [WIP]
What is there to say? The Widow King knows The Master II is no good. The Widow King knows he's a dog. But little Nan didn't know that, and being little Nan's fetter, The Widow King had to make do with the situation he was given. Though he raised Nan to be everything The Master II wanted him to be, The Widow King did not enjoy even a second of it. He didn't believe a single word that came from his own mouth when he argued that death was intimate, but over time, he began to believe his own lies.
The Widow King's true name, Craspedia, is named after a flower symbolizing good health. In the language of flowers, craspedias are given to send the message that the recipient lights up the sender's world.
The Widow King is named for his apparent stability of mind and personality; the first thing people notice about The Widow King is the sheer harmlessness he seems to embody. However, his charming exterior is a carefully-constructed lie to hide his misery, insecurity and violent fascination with blood and gore.
Fun Facts: Edit
- The Widow King's personality and internal conflict (as well as part of his design) was come up with in its entirety over the span of a 20 minute bus ride, while listening to the Masa-p song "Disease Princess."
- The Widow King's true name was taken from the Okame-p song "Melancholy of Craspedia."
- Literally everyone I've shown The Widow King to has wanted to sleep with him.
- No, really.
- Even the asexual, sex-disinterested one said "I'd probably give him a try".
- Except Bob, who [airquotes] "knows what happens".
- The Widow King appears outside of the Deadly Mistakes RP in Mew's "Denizens of Hell" story as an undercover cop (affectionately nicknamed "The Widow Cop" OOC) in the Lust District named Spinneret Valsier. Spinneret works to keep the Lust District safe from a particularly abhorrent menace named Cole Plaisance.
- The Widow King's Special Springhole Title is "The Bad Evil Horrible Sex Man".